Don't Call it a Mocktail

The Free Spirits Company

Indulge me, as the thoughts conveyed in this post rank only slightly more important in the grand scheme of things than debating which Kardashian sister is best. (It’s Khloe.)

I love a great cocktail. But there’s nothing I dislike more than the idea of a “mocktail”.

A cocktail is an expression of creativity. Of originality. Of precision. A great cocktail is a bold, complex, perfectly balanced work of liquid culinary art, inviting your lips to an impossibly beautiful glass.

A mocktail is a sweet, pink imposter, sitting in a hurricane glass with whipped cream and sparklers.

A cocktail is Sean Connery. A mocktail is Timothy Dalton. (Prove me wrong)
A cocktail is Mayonnaise. A mocktail is Miracle Whip. 
A cocktail is Gene Wilder. A mocktail is Johnny Depp.

Sure, sure, we’re all trying to cut back on alcohol these days. Which is great. But ordering from the “mocktails” section of a menu is like having to buy your pants in the Big & Tall section*. You don’t want to be there. 

So yes, mocktails are “less than”. They’re trying to be something they’re not. They’re all pomp and circumstance with no real substance. And when I say “substance”, I don’t mean alcohol.

Cocktails made without alcohol can – and should be – every bit as delicious, complex and exciting as a cocktail with alcohol.

So next time you want a cocktail, just without the alcohol, earn some points with the bartender by asking for a Free Spirited cocktail Or even just an NA cocktail. You’ll respect yourself in the morning.

*Written from years of experience in the Big & Tall section.

Milan’s Top 3 Favorite Free Spirited Cocktails:

  1. The Tea Clipper with The Spirit of Gin
  2. Tangerine Thyme with The Spirit of Tequila
  3. The Kentucky (Sucker) Punch with The Spirit of Bourbon

Featured collection